Occasionally in marriage we go through dry-spells. It happens and it can happen to all of us for a variety of different reasons. Life can become busy and difficult to balance. However, excuses aside, if you are currently in a dry-spell and longing for intimacy to re-enter your marriage, it’s time to act. Right now.
The key is daily investment. You have to invest in your marriage if you want to reignite passion and intimacy between you and your spouse.
Do you care about the things your spouse cares about? Do you listen to your husband or wife when they talk about the things they care about? Do you encourage them when they are discouraged?Are you the first person your spouse wants to talk to when something significant happens to them?
If you answered “no” to any of the above questions, then this point is priority number one for you. Emotional connection is so vital to intimacy within your marriage. Be intentional about asking your spouse questions about what is important to them and even try participating in their hobby. Furthermore, when your spouse confides in you, take the time to support, listen to, and challenge them in a healthy and positive way.
How often do you and your spouse sit together on the couch and cuddle? When is the last time you and your spouse had sex? Do you kiss often? Is there a fair share of both passionate and nonsexual tender touching going on between the two of you?
If not, a great way to reignite intimacy in your marriage is to initiate physical contact. Don’t be afraid to make the first move; no matter how long it has been. Touch and kiss as often as you can. Hold hands and spend time embracing one another. Most importantly, meet your spouse with grace as the two of you figure out how to get the ball rolling again. If the first and second time you try aren’t great, that’s okay. Keep trying. You’ll get back in the swing of things in no time. Just don’t give up.
This is often a hard question to face, but… Where are you investing your money? Are your personal hobbies taking more change out of the bank than your marriage (like MyMarriage365, date nights, coaching, a marriage intensive, marriage retreats, overnight getaways, or our book)? Are you often telling your marriage “no, it’s too expensive?”
Think about it this way: If your spouse were seriously ill, wouldn’t you take them to the doctor to get treatment? Absolutely. So if your marriage is sick, why wouldn’t you seek help? It’s a universal truth that where you invest your financial resources is often the winning ticket to what controls and motivates your emotions and your heart. For you, is that your marriage?
The truth is that where you invest your resources, your heart will follow. So, if you want intimacy in your marriage, then you have to invest in it. Period.
Written by Anna Collins
Anna Collins lives in sunny Southern California with her husband and two children. She is passionate about her marriage, staying at home with her kids, writing, coffee, good conversation, and game night. Her life dream is to someday write a book and see it published.