*This blog is for members of Marriage365. If you’re not a member, join for free now!
Congratulations on officially becoming a Marriage365 member and for deciding to become emotionally healthy and more self-aware! We wanted to give you some helpful tips and steps to take that will allow you to make the most of your membership.
Here are some common questions we get from members like you…
What should I do first?
When you sign up, you’re prompted to take our marriage checkup consisting of 30 questions about your relationship. Your results will help suggest certain courses and categories that you should focus on first and also highlight the areas you’re doing well in. We encourage you to take the checkup every quarter to see which areas in your marriage you have improved in and what to watch next.
What do I do if the results of my checkup were all red and yellow?
You probably felt overwhelmed when your results came in, but I want you to know two things. First, you’re not alone. In fact, 39% of our members had the same results as you. Second, we scored low in EVERY area of our marriage, and if we were able to turn it around, you can too! Just know that it will take some time, patience, and a plan. This is why our membership is the BEST tool for you because we have plenty of courses and worksheets that will teach you how to repair, grow, and heal your marriage. We’re with you every step of the way.
If your results were all red and yellow, we always recommend starting with our course REBUILDING TRUST. You must heal from the hurt, broken trust, resentment, and bitterness before you can move forward. This course will teach you how to give a proper apology, how to forgive and let the pain go, how to start rebuilding trust, and how to be a confident communicator. Trust is the foundation for a healthy marriage, and the first step to rebuilding trust is healing!
How can I get my spouse to participate in membership?
We have quite a few stories of spouses getting creative, so here are some suggestions to try.
1– The more positive you sound the better, and your approach can make or break your spouse’s feelings regarding participation. We’re not saying this to scare you but to tell you that no one wants to join something that’s boring and negative, or something you’re pushing because they are the problem (the same goes for therapy by the way). You could say something like, “I just signed up for this membership called Marriage365. They have videos, courses, and worksheets, and share stories of how they failed at marriage and were able to turn things around. I would love it if you watched one of the videos with me sometime this week. Can we put it on our calendar?”
2– Make sure you’re in the same room or a nearby room of the house when you watch a webcast you think your spouse would be interested in. Turn up the volume really loud and just do your thing watching, taking notes, and learning. Maybe just listening will pique their interest.
3– After you’ve watched a particular webcast on your own, communicate to your spouse, “Hey babe, I watched this webcast that’s part of the membership I was telling you about and I think you’d really like it. You want to watch it with me sometime this week?”
4– Being vulnerable and admitting your mistakes will help bring defenses down so you can always make a comment by saying, “I watched this video on ______ and realized that I struggle in this area and have caused you a lot of pain. I am so sorry for making you feel ________ and I want to work on it. This video helped me see your side of things and opened my eyes. I would love for you to watch it with me so you can see what I’m talking about.”
I’m doing membership alone so where do I start?
If you’re doing membership on your own, meaning that your spouse refuses or has zero interest in joining you, we highly recommend going through the course ONE-SIDED MARRIAGE. If you’re a female looking for more healing and confidence, you should consider starting Meygan’s women’s course CONTAGIOUS CONFIDENCE. If you’re a husband, we recommend starting with Casey’s course HEALTHY HUSBANDS. Another great course to go through is BETTER BOUNDARIES and use the worksheet The Boundaries Bible. One thing to know is that YOU are living our favorite marriage quote of all time which is → If you want to make a better marriage, make a better you!
How often should I be logging in and engaging with my membership?
It kind of depends on the type of learner you are. Some members like to binge-watch a few webcasts and work through the connecting questions all at once, while others like to watch a video every week or so and work through the connecting questions slowly during the week. It’s important that you find your own rhythm and make it work for you. The one thing we don’t want you to do is simply check things off of your to-do list and not allow yourself to really process, grow, and challenge yourself emotionally.
My spouse and I got different results on our marriage checkups. What do we do and where do we start?
It’s not uncommon for spouses to have differing views in the areas of their marriage. What’s important to know is that both of you are valid in feeling the way you do and that not one of you is more important than the other. This just means you need to learn how to really listen to each other’s concerns and be okay with having differing opinions and feelings. We highly recommend watching our two-part webcast HOW TO UNDERSTAND YOUR DIFFERENCES and then follow up with APPRECIATING YOUR DIFFERENCES. You can find both of these webcasts in the Friendship category. We also recommend watching HOW TO IDENTIFY AND EXPRESS YOUR NEEDS and THE SECRETS TO MAKING DECISIONS AS A COUPLE.
There was infidelity in my marriage. What do you recommend?
Some 40-60% of married couples will experience infidelity at some point, so please know that you’re not alone. Healing from infidelity is possible, but it will require a lot of work and a very detailed plan. We encourage you to start with the course REBUILDING TRUST and then follow up with the course BETTER BOUNDARIES. We do have an ONLINE AFFAIR RECOVERY COURSE that is NOT included in the membership, but as a member, you do get 20% off. We highly recommend counseling or couples coaching in order to fully heal from the trauma your marriage experienced. Our membership alone can only bring you so far.
If you have any questions regarding your membership or your account, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Written by Meygan and Casey Caston