Yes, Casey and I are the first to admit that we have been to marriage counseling.
But we don’t view it as a bad thing at all. In fact, we both acknowledge that having a third set of eyes on an issue can be more productive than us trying to figure it out on our own. We were able to walk away with new perspectives each time we went and wanted to share some of our insights with you all. Hey…be sure to thank us because we’re saving you some serious dough.
Communicate early and often
We all think that our spouse should just know what we’re thinking and feeling because we’ve told them a thousand times. But news flash: YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT A MIND READER. It’s so important to talk early and often before resentment and anger build. So often we have unrealistic, unmet, and un-communicated expectations that we never talk about, and then we’re left disappointed and frustrated. It’s impossible to over-communicate in marriage.
We are different and that’s ok
Casey and I have tried our hardest to change each other for many many years and gosh darn it, it’s never worked. We’ve had to learn that it’s ok to disagree on many small things, and some big things. Just because I don’t do things the same as Casey doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and vice-versa. We have had to learn to let the differences go. We are two different people, and that’s a good thing!
Figure out how blame is corrupting your connection
Blame drives disconnection. Blame allows a spouse to take the responsibility off of themselves and put it on their mate. Blaming your spouse allows you to stay in your comfort zone and not change. Both partners need to look at their own faults and take ownership of their part in the relationship. Can I get an amen, Brene Brown!!!
Every marriage needs regular maintenance
Just like a car needs regular maintenance, so does your marriage! Weekly ‘business meetings’ are where we talk about our budget, schedules, and the kids. It keeps us on the same page, and as a result, fighting less because there are no unrealistic expectations. Regular date nights, hand in hand walks, reading the latest marriage book, attending retreats and seminars, taking our relationship quiz and keeping track of your growth at Marriage365, and maybe even relationship coaching are all great ways to stay healthy and keep things fresh.
Time and money spent on your relationship is never wasted!
Written by Meygan Caston
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in sunny Southern California with her husband Casey, their two children, and dog Hobie. She loves her family, the beach, writing, spa days, and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her lifelong dream is to live with the Amish for a month, walk the Camino, and have lunch with Brené Brown.