What keeps us attracted to our spouse as we age? A quick internet search on this left our heads spinning. So here’s our summary based on working with hundreds of couples… 

1. INTERDEPENDENCE:  Finding opportunities to lean on each other for different needs in life. Celebrating each others differences and then leaning on them
The opposite:  Codependents that suck the life out of you and Independents that are more like roommates.

2. TRUST:  Love is NOT the most important thing, but rather having someone you can rely on when you need them most. Are they engaged in doing life with you? Trust guides us in who we can love.
The opposite:  The emotionally lazy spouse that avoids conflict, blames others, and is not accountable to their actions.

3. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and when we see our partners taking care of their health, prioritizing hygiene and taking care of themselves because they want to look good for us, that’s very attractive. It shows they care how they look for us. 
The opposite:  The spouse that doesn’t care about their looks and becomes a slob.

4. CONFIDENCE:  Confidence is about trusting yourself. In order to do that, you must become self aware of your strengths and your weaknesses. These partners know who they are, their inherent worth, and find happiness within themselves and share that with others around them.
The opposite:  The insecure spouse that is constantly belittling themselves, doubting their abilities, and is constantly comparing themselves to others.  

What area do you need to spend time focusing on in your marriage to make yourself more attractive to your spouse?

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Written by Meygan Caston

Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in Orange County, California with her husband Casey and their two children. She loves the beach, dance parties, writing, spa days, and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life-long dream is to walk the Camino, have lunch with Brené Brown, and get on The Price is Right.