Forgo the dinner and a movie and go straight to really connecting with your spouse.
Love is not self-sustaining but requires constant maintenance. We can often get stuck on surface-y conversations but need to work hard at diving deep into heart level conversations. Don’t talk about your kids soccer schedules, your crazy boss, or your never ending to-do list. Instead, take these questions with you on your next date night and take turns answering them. Spend time listening to your spouse’s heart and soul.
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What is your favorite memory as a child?
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What’s my best physical feature?
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If you could change one thing about your looks, what would it be?
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What is your favorite memory of us dating?
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Which of your parents are you most like?
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What are your top 3 strengths?
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What’s a new hobby you’d like to try?
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How often do you prefer sex?
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What was the first thing you thought of me?
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If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
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What do you like most that I do in bed?
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How would you describe an ideal day?
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What is something I can do to make us feel connected even more?
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What do you think we need to work on the most in our relationship?
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What can I do to make sure you feel safe with me?
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What’s the happiest you’ve ever felt?
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What do you want to do when you retire?
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For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
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If you could meet one famous person, who would it be?
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What’s another career that you think you’d love?
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If you could go back in time, what age would you be?
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Are you an optimist, pessimist or realist?
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What was your favorite date night you’ve ever had with me?
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What can I do that best says, “I love you.”?
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In what areas are we the same?
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Tell me a time when you felt really close to me?
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How are we different?
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Who do you know that has the best marriage? And what can we do to get there?
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What’s your biggest regret in life?
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If you bought a boat, what would you name it?
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When did you first know you loved me?
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How have I succeeded in our marriage this week?
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What fears do you have?
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What brings you the most joy?
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How can I show you love this week?
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If you gave money to charity, which one would you pick and why?
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What turns you on?
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If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
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What things do I do for you that refresh you the most?
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What’s a question you’ve never asked me?
Written by Casey Caston
Casey Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and loves his wife, kids, and surfing – in that order. He’s passionate about teaching couples how to connect on a deeper level and works often with couples in crisis. He’s also officiated more than 600 weddings. His life long dream is to walk the Camino, surf in Indonesia, and publish a New York Times best seller.
