I Wanted Help. I Got Division. How My Therapist Turned Me Against My Husband
I begged my husband for years to go to therapy. I knew our marriage needed help. We were disconnected, resentful, and stuck. After ten rejections, I stopped asking. His refusal hurt—it felt like he didn’t care. So I went to therapy alone, searching for clarity and validation.
And that’s exactly what I got… at first.
Therapy That Felt Too Good
That first session felt amazing. My therapist listened. She asked thoughtful questions. She validated my pain. For the first time in a long time, I felt heard, and it felt like relief. I kept going back, venting session after session about my husband, his coldness, his lack of effort, his inability to see me.
And then she said it.
“I think your husband’s a narcissist.”
That one sentence changed everything.
And that’s how my therapist turned me against my husband.
The Narcissist Label That Stuck
I had heard about NARCISSIST on social media and in books. I had wondered before… Could he be one? My therapist’s statement confirmed it—at least in my mind.
Suddenly, everything made sense.
He was the problem. Not me. I wasn’t crazy or too emotional. He was a narcissist, and now I had the label to prove it.
I walked out of that session changed. With a chip on my shoulder and a script in my head, I came home convinced he was the villain and I was the victim.
My Attitude Shifted — And So Did Our Marriage
From that day on, I viewed everything he said and did through a new lens of suspicion. I analyzed his words for hidden manipulation. I pulled away emotionally. I stopped initiating affection. I even confronted him with his “diagnosis.” He got defensive, which only made me more convinced he had to be a narcissist.
In my mind, the case was closed. This is how my therapist turned me against my husband.
Then He Did Something Unexpected
Months later, I saw a charge for a coaching session with a MARRIAGE365 COACH. Curious, I asked my husband—and to my shock, he said he scheduled it. For himself. And he invited me to join.
I declined. I assumed he was bluffing or just doing it to look good. But he kept going. Week after week. Quietly. Consistently.
And then something else happened.
Apologies. Real Ones.
He started apologizing. Sincerely. Using the FOUR STEPS we had learned early in our marriage. He made eye contact. He put his phone away. He worked out. He showed up—differently.
At first, I kept my guard up. But six months in, I couldn’t deny it.
He was changing. For real. Without me.
A Wake-Up Call I Didn’t Expect
That’s when the guilt set in.
Could I have been wrong this whole time?
Had I allowed therapy to turn me into the judge, jury, and executioner?
That phrase kept ringing in my ears: how my therapist turned me against my husband.
The truth was, I had stopped growing. I focused so much on his flaws that I ignored my own. I made assumptions based on pain and projection. And my therapist, who never even met my husband, confirmed those assumptions.
Taking Responsibility and Rebuilding
I told my husband the truth. I admitted that I had believed he was a narcissist. I shared how therapy had fed that narrative. And I asked for forgiveness.
He gave it. Immediately.
It took time, but we rebuilt—together. The more I took responsibility for my part, the more our marriage healed. We’re in a good place now. Stronger. More honest. More humble.
What I Want You to Know
If you’re in therapy, keep going.
But please—be careful.
When we’re hurting, it’s tempting to find a label or a scapegoat. But healing doesn’t come from blame. It comes from courage. And curiosity. And humility.
Sometimes, therapists get it wrong.
Sometimes, validation without accountability becomes poison.
Sometimes, the help we seek creates harm we never intended.
So learn from me.
Don’t let therapy turn you against your spouse. Let it turn you back toward yourself.
Final Thoughts
Marriage reveals our deepest wounds.
But it also offers our greatest growth.
It’s not about winning. It’s about becoming.
If you want to make a better marriage, start by making a better you.
Written by Anonymous
