In a world of billions, each of us has been touched by someone who has filled the role of a “dad figure.” It might be a biological father, an adoptive dad, a stepfather, a father-in-law, a mentor, a friend’s dad, a grandpa or uncle, or even an older brother who stepped up. These connections are as diverse as they are meaningful. Some have known fathers who faced neglect, shame, or criticism, while others have been blessed with incredible father figures who walked with them, offering unwavering support and love. For some, Father’s Day brings a poignant mix of grief and longing for a father lost or the pain of a troubled relationship. For others, it’s a time of joyous celebration and deep gratitude for the dad who has been a source of inspiration and strength.
I wish I could speak to every situation but unfortunately, I have a word limit ;). So, THIS blog is for those of you in a committed relationship with kids looking to celebrate the man partnering with you to raise some pretty amazing kids.
A life raising kids is one of the most layered “both/and’s” of all time. It is both incredible and exhausting, beautiful and heartbreaking, the easiest love you’ll ever feel and the most agonizing decisions you’ll ever make, and at any one time you and your partner could feel any mix of happy, sad, confused, angry, helpless, terrified, proud, disappointed, annoyed, frustrated, love, dislike, fulfillment or the opposite. It truly hits every major button of the “human experience” and nobody understands what you’re going through better than the person doing it with you. Sometimes, the panic suppresses the praise-worthy moments and it’s hard to verbalize what doing this thing together really means to you.
If that’s you, then here are three things to say to your partner on Father’s Day:
Tell him the amazing qualities about your kids that they are learning from him:
“Carter has been responsible and working so hard on his science project and I know he learned that work ethic from you!”
“Layla is so intentional to give me a hug and kiss before she goes to school and I was thinking about how happy I am that you set that example for her.”
“All of our kids are so generous with their time and their friendship and in watching them, I remembered that is one of the first things that attracted me to you and still is!”
Tell him the amazing qualities of his fatherhood, whether he learned them from his father or despite him:
“I notice that every time one of our kids asks you to read them a bedtime story you stop whatever you’re doing and connect with them.”
“It’s always been important to you to be the kind of dad whose kids trust and respect him since you didn’t have that and I want you to know that is exactly the dad I see and they see when we look at you!”
“Your dad always made sure to stop and enjoy the little moments with you and it is so beautiful to see that you do the same thing with our kids!”
Tell him the ways you know you can count on him as a dad and what that means to you in your relationship:
“I feel so lucky and thankful that we work hard to be a team; our kids are half of both of us and it truly feels like we are both there for them and I appreciate that”
“When you get the kids ready for school in the morning so that I can get ready for work, I feel so supported and loved by you.”
“Every time you take Johnny out for one-on-one time, he comes back and tells me about how much fun you had together, and as I’m listening, it makes me fall in love with you all over again to know that my kids have you for their dad”.
Gift Ideas for Father’s Day from Marriage365
Check out our Parenting MasterClass – This is a great gift to give your partner this Father’s Day as a way of supporting each other and deepening your connection with your family.
If you think “dad” prefers a light-hearted gift this Father’s Day, check out our book 365 Connecting Questions for Families.
Marriage365 Membership has been proven to be the kind of “marriage work” that husbands actually enjoy. Give your spouse the gift of a healthy marriage, whether you already have one or it might need a little work. Your kids will thank you!
Or perhaps all you need is a special card on Father’s Day, try to think of one idea from each of the three listed above and write them in a card for your partner this Father’s Day.
Lastly, Happy Father’s Day to all of the incredible dads out there who are trying to pour their love and lives into their kids!
Marriage365 offers videos, courses, and podcasts filled with practical skills and guidance to build stronger, more connected marriages. Learn more about our Membership.
Written by Anna Collins
Anna Collins lives in California with her husband and four children. She is passionate about her marriage, staying at home with her kids, writing, coffee, good conversation, and game night. Her life dream is to someday write a book and see it published.
