Let’s get real—your phone might be one of the biggest distractions in your marriage (and your phone might be ruining your marriage).
Scrolling, swiping, texting—it’s easy to get lost in the black hole of your screen. We’re all guilty of it! But at what cost. On your deathbed, you’ll never say, “I wish I had spent more time on my phone.” Instead, you might wish you had spent more time with the people you love most—like your spouse.
If your phone is creating distance in your relationship, it’s time to take back control. Here’s how:
1. Create Phone-Free Zones
Designate areas in your home where phones are off-limits. For example, make the dinner table a place for connection, not scrolling. Use this time to talk, catch up on your day, or ask each other meaningful questions (grab some from our book!).
Another great phone-free zone is your bedroom. Keep it a space for rest, intimacy, and connection—not late-night TikTok binges.
2. Set a Daily “Phone Curfew”
Decide on a time when both of you will put your phones away for the night. For instance, you could charge your phones in another room starting at 9pm. Many smartphones even have settings to automatically shut off apps at a certain time.
Use this extra time to talk, read, play cards, connect, or have sex. Studies show that avoiding screens for at least one hour before bed improves sleep quality—so this tip benefits your health and your relationship!
3. Be Present During Conversations
Nothing says “you don’t matter” like staring at your phone while your spouse is talking. When your spouse starts sharing something, make eye contact and put your phone down.
If you need to finish something on your phone, politely ask them to hold on for a moment. This simple act of prioritizing your spouse makes a huge difference. Bonus points if you silence your phone during date nights or connection time.
Your Spouse Needs You, Not Your Screen
Your phone will always be there. But your spouse? They need you now. Make the choice to look up, put the phone down, and be present. At the end of your life, it won’t be the hours spent on your screen you’ll remember—it’ll be the moments you created with the people who matter most.
What If My Spouse Won’t Follow These Suggestions?
If you’re thinking, “These ideas are great, but my spouse will never go for them,” or “I’ve tried, but nothing changes,” here’s a tough truth: enabling their behavior teaches them that zero boundaries are acceptable.
It’s time to set a boundary and communicate it clearly. Here’s an example:
“I feel hurt when you spend so much time on your phone instead of being present with me. I need us to have phone-free time in the evenings so we can connect. Moving forward, I will no longer sit quietly and let this happen. I’ll ask for your attention and gently remind you to put the phone down when it’s interrupting our time together. If this doesn’t change, I will schedule a coaching session with a Marriage365 coach so we can address this together.”
The key here is follow-through. If the behavior doesn’t change, schedule the coaching session. Without follow-through, you risk enabling the same patterns.
Take the First Step Today. Reclaiming your marriage from phone distractions isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Start with one of these tips, communicate your needs, and commit to being more present. Remember, your phone can wait—but your spouse can’t.
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Written by Meygan Caston
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in sunny Southern California with her husband Casey, their two children, and dog Hobie. She loves her family, the beach, writing, spa days, and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life long dream is to live with the Amish for a month, walk the Camino, and have lunch with Brené Brown.
