Ahhh, how do you navigate the holidays without losing your cool (or your marriage)?
You’re expected to be jolly, even though you’re juggling 1,000 things, from in-laws invading your space to figuring out how to afford all those presents. But fear not! You and your marriage can survive (and maybe even enjoy) as you navigate this holiday season with seven simple strategies.
Let’s dive in.
The Busy Schedule Madness: Prioritize What Really Matters
Let’s be real – holiday schedules can get insane. Between work parties, family gatherings, school plays, and last-minute shopping, it’s easy to feel like you’re living in a snow globe that someone keeps shaking.
You don’t have to say “yes” to everything. Seriously.
Wait, let me say it again: You don’t have to say “yes” to everything.
Pick the events and traditions that actually bring you joy, and let the rest go. Have a chat with your spouse about what really matters to both of you this season. Maybe it’s the ugly sweater party at your friend’s house, or maybe it’s just binge-watching holiday movies in your PJs.
Either way, prioritize what makes you both happy and ditch the guilt about skipping the rest.
The In-Laws: Set Boundaries, Not Landmines
Ah, in-laws – the holiday gift that keeps on giving. Whether you love them, tolerate them, or hide in the bathroom when they visit, they’re likely to play a big role in your holiday season.
The key to surviving? Boundaries. Yes, boundaries can be your best friend.
If you’re hosting, make it clear when you’re available and when you’re not. Maybe you need some alone time with your spouse, or maybe you just need a break from all the “When are you having kids?” questions. It’s okay to say, “We’re looking forward to having you, but we’ll need some time to ourselves in the evenings.”
If you’re visiting, make sure to carve out time to connect with your partner away from the family chaos. And remember, it’s your holiday too – don’t let anyone hijack it.
Traditions: Keep the Best, Toss the Rest
Holiday traditions can be great – until they start feeling like a chore. Just because something’s always been done doesn’t mean it has to keep being done, especially if it’s stressing you out or putting a strain on your marriage. Take a look at your holiday traditions and decide which ones you actually enjoy.
Love decorating the tree together? Keep it.
Hate the annual 6am gift-opening marathon? Maybe it’s time to start a new tradition of sleeping in and enjoying a leisurely breakfast instead.
The holidays are about creating memories, so make sure those memories are ones you actually want to keep.
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The Money Minefield: Have “The Talk”
Let’s face it – holiday spending can get out of control fast. Between gifts, travel, parties, and that one inflatable lawn decoration you just had to have, your bank account can take a serious hit.
The solution? It’s time for a good old-fashioned money talk with your spouse.
Sit down and figure out a budget that works for both of you. Decide how much you’re willing to spend on gifts, travel, and all the other holiday extras. Then, stick to it. And remember, the best gifts don’t have to cost a fortune – sometimes the most meaningful presents are the ones that come from the heart (or the kitchen, if you’re a fan of homemade treats).
Dealing with Holiday Stress: Make Time for Each Other
With all the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to let your relationship take a back seat during the holidays. But trust us, taking a little time to connect with your partner can make all the difference.
Schedule some time for just the two of you – whether it’s a date night, a walk around the neighborhood to look at lights, or even just a quiet evening at home. Use this time to talk, laugh, and remind each other why you’re such an awesome team. The holidays are supposed to be about love, after all – so make sure you’re showing each other some.
Extended Family and Friends: Keep the Peace, Not the Score
The holidays are a time for family and friends, but they can also be a time for drama. Whether it’s your mom insisting on cooking the entire meal herself (and criticizing everything you do) or your best friend expecting you to attend every single event they host, it can feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions.
The key? Communication and compromise. Let your loved ones know what you can and can’t do this season. It’s okay to say no to some things, and it’s also okay to ask for help if you need it. Your marriage should be your top priority, so make sure you and your spouse are on the same page before agreeing to anything. And remember, the holidays don’t have to be perfect – they just have to be enjoyed.
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize: A Happy Marriage
When it comes down to it, the holidays are just a few weeks out of the year – but your marriage is for life. Don’t let the stress, chaos, and craziness of the season come between you and your spouse.
Keep the lines of communication open, support each other, and make time to have some fun together. So, here’s to surviving the holiday season with your marriage not just intact, but stronger than ever.
You’ve got this – and if you need a little extra help, that’s what I’m here for at Marriage365.
Written by Matt Davis
Matt has been married to his wife for 23 years and lives in Lexington, Kentucky with their three amazing teenagers. They love to travel, eat great food, kayak, and play at the lake during the summer. When Matt is asked to speak somewhere, his number one choice for what to bring on any road trip is his wife.If you are interested in signing up for a coaching session with Matt visit his coaching page
