Have you ever watched the movie Date Night with Steve Carell and Tina Fey? The first scene shows them going to the restaurant they go to EVERY date night, ordering the same food and sitting in the same booth. It’s obvious they love each other and are working so hard to make the most of the familiar date night experience. In a booth near them is a couple snuggling and madly in love feeding each other their meals. You can see the longing for the same romance, passion, and spark that this couple has. The movie takes a turn and Steve and Tina’s characters end up going on quite the adventure for their date night and end up becoming closer through it all. I don’t want to spoil the movie but I promise you, it’s worth the watch.
The point is this… all couples desire to have fun, romance, and adventures, and so desperately want to create new memories together but struggle for whatever reason. And if you’ve read this far, it probably means that you too want the romance and excitement back in your marriage.
So here are three ways to rediscover romance and excitement in your marriage:
1. Open dialogue
It’s time for an open conversation where you both feel safe to share what’s on your mind and what you’re looking for. Communication is key to rediscovering more romance and fun. Make this conversation about YOU and how much YOU want to make new memories by breaking out of your routine. Stay away from making your spouse feel that they have become boring or that you feel bored in the marriage as this will cause hurt and disconnection. Here are 3 connecting questions to get the conversation started:
Where is one place you’ve always wanted us to go on vacation and why?
What is the most adventurous thing we did while we were dating? Would you want to do it again?
What is one thing we can do this month that would bring newness and excitement back into our marriage?
2. Prioritize quality time
Quality time is the oxygen that keeps the fire burning in marriage. Without it, the candle immediately goes out. You’ve GOT to prioritize time with each other or it won’t happen. We operate by the 1-1-1 rule: 1x a week date night, 1x a quarter overnight together, 1x a year weeklong vacation or RETREAT away from home together.
Prioritizing time for romance and fun is such a turn-on, right?
3. Come to our next COUPLES RETREAT
Our RETREATS are focused on connection, emotional intimacy, romance, and fun! This is by far one of the most popular events and that’s because we spoil the heck out of you. Couples experience the adventure, love, passion, and excitement they had when they were dating! You will rediscover each other and leave the retreat feeling more connected than ever before. There’s a mix of speaking sessions, connecting time with your spouse, as well as free time to explore, not to mention that you get to meet other like-minded couples looking for the same things you are. Learn more about our retreat!
Once the connection and excitement are back in your relationship, enjoy it and protect it! This looks like spending time together reminiscing about favorite memories, learning new things together, going out of your way to surprise each other, showing intentional acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, and committing to being a lifelong learner about the amazing and unique person your spouse is. Adding romance, fun, and adventure to your relationship requires effort and creativity, but the payoff is a deeper connection and lasting memories.
Click here to learn more about our 2025 Couples Retreat.
Written by Meygan Caston
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in sunny Southern California with her husband Casey, their two children, and dog Hobie. She loves her family, the beach, writing, spa days, and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life long dream is to live with the Amish for a month, walk the Camino, and have lunch with Brené Brown.
