Seeing a life and marriage coach…
Is an important part of mental health, growth, self-awareness, and getting through painful and challenging life experiences. However, if you’ve never been to coaching before, or are still fairly new to the process, it might feel overwhelming… and that’s okay! We’re here to help.
The best way to help you know if you’ve got a great coach (or might need to start looking for a new one) is to compare and contrast what a GOOD fit vs. a BAD fit looks like. So, here are 8 things that make up each!
When your therapist is a good fit:
- They make you feel comfortable and work hard to meet you where you’re at.
- They’re honest about their own struggles or marriage’s imperfections, without oversharing or making it about them.
- They give you homework and tools in between sessions.
- They try to understand what you (and your spouse, if they are present) want out of your sessions.
- They learn about your habits/patterns and teach you to break any unhealthy habits that are negatively impacting your life.
- They create an environment in which you can grow, process, and express frustrations.
- They help create action plans and next steps for ongoing growth.
- They don’t create dependency. The goal is for the couple to need the coach less over time, not more.
When your therapist may be a bad fit:
- They don’t make eye contact or don’t work to make you feel comfortable.
- They don’t circle back to your goals for coaching to make sure you’re on track.
- They don’t ask you thought-provoking questions or encourage you to self-reflect between sessions.
- They don’t give you homework or keep you accountable.
- They allow you to blame everyone else for your issues while validating toxic and unhealthy behavior.
- They try to make coaching what they want for you instead of what you want for you.
- Their own relationship is a black box – no transparency, no humility about their own growth areas.
- They tell you to get a divorce in the first few sessions.
The truth is that therapy is for YOU and it is important that you get out of it what you’re looking for.
Just like in friendships or romantic relationships, sometimes your coach is not a good fit and that’s okay – it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Trust your gut instinct if something doesn’t feel right. You’re in charge! And we want you to be empowered to make the best possible choices for yourself, especially if that means needing to explore your sessions with a new coach!
Learn more about our coaching program here.
Written by Anna Collins
Anna Collins lives in sunny Northern California with her husband and four children. She is passionate about her marriage, staying at home with her kids, writing, coffee, good conversation, and game night. Her life dream is to someday write a book and see it published.
