We’ve never met anyone who wants to be in a sexless marriage, though that is often the reality for many couples we work with.
Some common factors that can keep couples from having sex are:
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Mismatched sex drives
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Unresolved conflict
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Passive-aggressive withholding of sex
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Boredom
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Stress
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Infidelity
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Childbirth and parenting young kids
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Erectile Dysfunction
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Medication side effects
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Depression
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History of sexual abuse
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Infertility
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Pornography use
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Criticism in the bedroom
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Hyper-religious upbringing
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Anxiety
Or the most common: Not making your marriage a priority!
One thing we want to make sure is that you and your spouse talk through your sex and intimacy expectations aka… have a Naked Conversation because it’s never too late to bring back the passion! We’ve seen couples in their later years of marriage turn things around and feel more intimate and connected than they have for a long time, possibly ever.
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Don’t give up on your marriage or on your spouse.
Identify the reasons you and your spouse are in a bad place sexually and talk through some of the questions below. Even if you think you’ve given up, you really haven’t, because you’re reading this.
When you go through these Connecting Questions, remember to stay away from judgment and listen with empathy. Just the topic of sex alone can make many feel embarrassed and ashamed, especially if there is sexual tension.
Take turns asking each other these questions:
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Why do you think our sex life has taken a back seat?
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How can we grow in our emotional connection?
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What does it feel like when I make our sex life a priority?
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What does it look like when you show me that you are initiating sex? Give me details please.
