Parenting will most certainly change your marriage… for better or for worse.
We are the first to admit that we went into marriage thinking that having lots of babies would help our marriage! And now, 11 years into parenting, we can tell you that as much as we love our kids, parenting is tough. It’s brought out the worst in us and has revealed how selfish we both are. There are many days we lay our heads down at night knowing we could’ve done better. Thank God for fresh starts, right?!
The most important thing to keep in mind while parenting is this: the best gift you can give your kids is to have a healthy marriage.
It’s not about your parenting skills. It’s not about being the Pinterest mom. It’s not about being the super hero dad. It’s not about how many toys you can give your kid. It’s not about how smart they are or how well they do in sports.
We promise you that your kids won’t care what kind of car you drive, how big your house is, how many family vacations you take and what kind of clothes they wear. They want and need a safe and loving environment. They want quality time with their mom and dad who love each other. They want to see you and your spouse speak kind words of appreciation and be affectionate with one another (keeping it PG, of course).
Your children need to be shown how to manage conflict, take responsibility, apologize, forgive and help others in need and they will learn this from watching your marriage. You set that example.
Living out love through your marriage will set the standard for who they eventually choose in a mate. So no matter what happens, never stop showing your kids what a healthy and thriving marriage looks like.
And remember… you only have your kids for 18 years, but your marriage is for the rest of your life.
Here are some Connecting Questions for you and your spouse to talk through regarding parenting:
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Who do you think has come first, our relationship or our children?
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What steps should we take to make our marriage more of a priority?
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What can I do to encourage and support you better as a parent?
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What mutual parenting goal would you like to see us accomplish together?
To get more Connecting Questions, check out our book 365 Connecting Questions for Families.
Written by Meygan Caston
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in sunny Southern California with her husband Casey, their two children, and dog Hobie. She loves her family, the beach, writing, spa days, and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life long dream is to live with the Amish for a month, walk the Camino, and have lunch with Brené Brown.
