Do spouses fake orgasms? In a recent Instagram survey of 9,000 women, 6,120 admitted to faking orgasms several times or more. That’s a staggering 68%. As shocking as that may be, it’s a reality many couples face—and one we don’t talk about enough.
If you’ve ever wondered why your spouse might be faking orgasms, or if you’ve faked it yourself, you’re not alone. And while it might seem like a harmless white lie, it often points to something deeper within the relationship. Let’s break down the common reasons people fake it, what it really means, and how to create authentic, satisfying intimacy in your marriage.
Top 4 Reasons Why Spouses Fake Orgasms
Many people—especially women—feel like they’re expected to “finish” every time. If they don’t, they worry their spouse will feel hurt, rejected, or frustrated. So, they fake it to avoid disappointment and keep the peace.
- Emotional Disconnect
Sometimes faking it has nothing to do with physical pleasure at all. Emotional distance, unresolved resentment, or unspoken stress in the marriage often show up in the bedroom. Physical intimacy thrives when emotional intimacy is strong.
- Low Confidence in the Bedroom
When someone feels insecure about their body or performance, it’s hard to fully let go and enjoy the moment. Insecurities create mental barriers—and since the brain is the largest sex organ, those thoughts can completely shut down pleasure.
- Believing Their Needs Don’t Matter
Some people have been conditioned to believe that their partner’s pleasure matters more. They don’t feel safe asking for what they want—or worse, they don’t know what they want. This builds resentment over time and can lead to a negative association with sex.
What Spouses Faking Orgasms Really Reveals
If your spouse has been faking orgasms, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re unhappy with you—but it does mean it’s time for a deeper conversation. It’s not about blame or shame. It’s about understanding each other better and creating a safe space for honesty and vulnerability. This moment can be a turning point in your sex life—an opportunity to reconnect, rebuild trust, and make intimacy enjoyable for both of you.
How to Start the Conversation
Avoid bringing it up during sex. Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and emotionally open.
Try saying:
💬 “I want to make sure you feel fully satisfied in our sex life. Is there anything I can do differently?”
💬 “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to pretend with me. I want us to be able to talk openly about everything—including this.”
Approach the conversation with compassion and curiosity, not criticism. The goal is to grow together, not to place blame.
Real Intimacy Starts with Real Honesty
Sex should be a place of trust, fun, and mutual pleasure—not pressure or performance. If faking it has been part of your story, don’t panic. Let it be the beginning of a deeper, more connected chapter in your relationship.
Want to Go Deeper?
Listen to our FREE Marriage365 Podcast by downloading our app.
In one episode, my husband and I have a raw, honest conversation about the time I fake orgasms—and how it became a pivotal moment in our marriage. You’ll hear insights, laughter, and actionable advice to help you grow closer than ever before.
Download the FREE Marriage365 App and start listening today!
Written by Meygan Caston
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in sunny Southern California with her husband Casey, their two children, and dog Hobie. She loves her family, the beach, writing, spa days, and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life long dream is to live with the Amish for a month, walk the Camino, and have lunch with Brené Brown.
